


A Song of Swamps and Snakes

by nat_toro



Category: Danny Phantom, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Ratatouille (2007), Sesame Street (US TV), Shrek (Movies)
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Canon Compliant, Dystopia, F/F, F/M, Fuck Or Die, Gen, Interspecies Relationship(s), M/M, Major Character Injury, Multi, Other, Pregnancy Scares, Semi-Public Sex, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-12
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:22:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28021605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nat_toro/pseuds/nat_toro
Summary: When Draco Malfoy and Shrek wake up in a white room with no windows or doors, surrounded by a seemingly normal group of other people, including, but not limited to, Obama, Danny Devito, the cast of Danny Phantom, and Elmo, they need to find a way to escape before it is too late, and find love along the way
Relationships: Danny DeVito/Shrek (Shrek), Draco Malfoy/Shrek (Shrek), Elmo (Sesame Street)/Barack Obama
Comments: 2
Kudos: 24





	A Song of Swamps and Snakes

**Author's Note:**

> Ongoing series for FAN FIC FRIDAY in DISCORD

Awakened by his fiery, snake-like anger, Draco woke up, screaming, “I can’t believe Potter found my maid outfit corny! He didn’t even budge at my sexy French accent!!!” 

He blinked, suddenly aware that he was not in his own bed, but in an entirely white room with no windows and no walls.

He felt a wisp of air at his feet and followed his gaze down to a pair of green nostrils connected to a green, ogre-like being. “Ah!” Draco kicked him, scared for his life.

“This is my swamp!!!” Shrek sprung to his feet and punched at the blonde, beautiful boy in front of him. 

A blush crawled across Shrek’s emerald cheeks as he took in the disheveled, yet smoldering appearance of the young wizard.

“Welcome to the white room!” Danny DeVito called from above.

The pair looked up to see a short, balding, incredibly sexy man, on a diving board 6ft above their heads. He bounced and dove off into a ball pit in the center of the room.

“Elmo really resonates with the readings of Lenin!”  
“Well, you see,” Obama retorted, bouncing Elmo on his knee, “I’m quite the Marxist myself…”  
“Elmo thinks Obama is a poser, but can’t get enough of this presidential D” Elmo reached out to unzip Obama’s jeans when Shrek interrupted.

“Get a room!!”  
“This is the only room, jackass. You wanna go!?” Elmo whipped out a gun from the inside of Obama’s jeans….  
“Elmo will FUCK YOU UP MOTHERFUCKER”

“Relax!” Draco whipped out his thick, girthy, veiny wood wand. “Let’s settle this calmly.”

“Wait a minute… you know why we’re here then, don’tcha?” Shrek questioned.

“Why certainly,” Obama said.

“Could you tell us, then?”

“No thanks.” Obama smiled, turning his attention back to the red puppet in his lap. 

Shrek gets mad and kicks Elmo out of Obama’s lap. 

Draco swept in as well, and hit Elmo with a mad cruciatus curse.

Elmo convulsed like a fish begging for air.

“Elmo wants mercy! Elmo wants mercy!”

“What’s the matter PUPPET!?” Draco yells, “hurts? Dunnit?” 

TW MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH

Suddenly, Danny Devito ascended from the pit of balls and shot Elmo with his laser eyes.

Elmo shook violently, burning under Danny’s luscious gaze, and diminished into ash.

Obama crouched at his lover’s side, “Let me be clear,” He teared up, “NOOOOOOOOOOO!”

Danny did a pirouette and spiraled down like a drill into the depths of the ball pit, until he was entirely gone. 

A woman’s voice sounded out from Obamna’s mouth, “Oh good he’s gone.” The former president stood up, and wiped his brow. Then, he brought his fingers to the crown of his head, felt around his skull, and began to pull down on a zipper over his face. The man we once knew as Obamna peeled his skin away to reveal that he was actually Danny, Sam, and Tucker, inside of his human flesh, in a makeshift Obama costume.

Shrek’s eyes widened, as he once again, felt a deep warmth in his core when he noticed the attractive 2-D trio.

“Listen here, we don’t have much time!” Danny Fenton (Phantom) exclaimed, “The one we have to worry about the most is not the man, but the one who controls him.”

“The one who controls him?” Draco spat.  
“GOtta blast,” Danny said before placing his hands on the two hot animated characters beside him and they vanished into thin air.

“Isn’t that the wrong nickelodeon show?” asked Shrek.

Draco simply shrugged.

“Now, how do we get out of here?”

To bee continued.


End file.
